Drinking Games
by Layzay the Killer
Summary: Gambit is challenged to a drinking game, by none other than Wolverine. What follows is a night of drunken stupidity.


Author's note: I don't own any of these characters, but I would drink with them if they were real.

Logan sat at his favorite stool, in his favorite bar, on an average Thursday night. A couple hands of poker, some darts, and a couple shots, couldn't get any better.

Suddenly, the door shot open, and a figure in a long flowing trench coat, stood in the doorway.

"How ya'll doin' tonight?" Gambit asked with a rowdy grin. However he soon spotted Logan, and tensed up, not knowing how the Canadian would react. Surprisingly though, Logan waved a hand at him, inviting him to come sit down at the bar.

"You ol' enough ta drink Cajun?" Logan growled already gesturing for another drink as Remy took a seat beside him.

"In some countries yeah." he replied with a roguish grin accepting the shot, and downing it without a flinch, as he sat down.

"Ya hold yer liquor a lot better than I thought ya would." Wolverine grunted downing another two shots.

"Ha! Dis is water compared to the stuff _mon frere _used ta bring home." Gambit laughed although he wobbled slightly on his stool.

Noticing this, a devious idea came to Logan's mind.

"Why don' ya put yer money where yer mouth is bub!" Wolverine said with a wild grin, facing his companion.

"What ya got in mind?" the thief asked cocking an eyebrow, and tilting his head towards Logan.

"Just a little friendly competition kid." Logan said stepping off the stool, his grin growing wider. "A drinkin' contest."

Feeling a little uncertain Remy hesitated, after all he still had a number of tasks to complete for Magneto.

"What's the matter? Card throwin' the only thing ya good at?" Wolverine taunted, laughing heartily.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or perhaps just Gambits' pride, but he felt he couldn't deny this challenge.

"You're on old man, may the best one win!"

--

An hour, and a mountain of shot glasses later, Gambit lay slumped across the bar stinking drunk. Contrarily Logan was the picture of sobriety, sitting calmly next to him, despite the amount of alcohol he consumed.

"I think you've had enough bub..." he grunted as he peered at the limp form of Gambit.

"Hey kid, wake up." Logan grunted nudging the unconscious Gambit.

At once he sprang up, and fell promptly off his stool. The whole bar laughed and pointed at the rookie, as the bartender shook his head in disgust.

"Come on kid, get up yer makin' a scene..." Logan growled extending a hand to the fallen Cajun.

With a drunken slap, Remy swiped it away.

"Get... ya, stinkin' hands off o' Remy..., ya damn yankee..." he gurgled slurring his words and staggering to his feet, with the help of his staff.

Leaning on his staff for support, Gambit leered at Logan before speaking again.

"Ya ...hic..may have won the battle...but Remy will win the battle..." he said confusing himself and all around him.

"Yer not makin' sense kid." Wolverine sighed rubbing his eyes, no longer smiling.

"It don' matter if Remy make sense!" Gambit exploded throwing his arms in the air, and falling backwards, Logan catching him by the coat at the last second.

"All dat matters, is dat de south will rise again..." he sputtered stupidly, his accent becoming more pronounced, as his intoxication increased.

"I gotta take you home, don' I?" Logan sighed again, throwing Gambit over his back, and marching out the door.

"Hey! Whose gonna pay for these drinks!" The bartender called out angrily.

Logan turned around with a serious expression on his face.

"Put it on the tab of a guy named Magneto."

--

After a short ride on his trademark chopper, Logan deposited Gambit outside of Acolyte headquarters, not really caring what happened to him.

"Yer their problem now pal.." he growled as he sped off into the night.

A few minutes of lying on the ground made Gambit realize, that he wasn't in his room. Struggling to his feet again, he tripped over to the intercom. He missed the button the first two times, but got it on the third.

It buzzed for a second before a voice laced with a Russian accent answered.

_Who is this?_ it demanded curtly.

Gambit snickered to himself before answering.

"It's-me-Pietro!" he said, putting on his best impression of the speedster. "Ya-gotta-lemme-in-or-mah-dad'll-give-me-a-spankin'-" he stammered choking back laughs.

The voice sighed before responding.

_Gambit is that you?_

"No it's me Creed ya idiot!" Gambit responded switching up into a respectable Sabretooth. "Now let me in, I gotta clean my litter box, and think up ways ta torture Wolverine!"

The voice laughed a little, clearly amused.

_Ha, ha, that is good. Do Magneto next, _it asked somewhat nervously.

"It is I Magneto." Gambit obliged, holding in his mirth. "I Magneto, the leader of all mutant kind, will continue to ramble on, repeating my point an insurmountable amount of times, and using words like insurmountable. My interests include candle lit dinners, world domination, and polishing my helmet, while listening to Duran Duran."

Not capable of holding it in any longer, he and the voice on the other side burst out laughing.

_Ha, ha, that is good. Hold on as I open the door..."_

"Wait! Wait!" Remy cut him off. "I still ain't done Colossus yet!"

_T-That is not necessary.._

"My name is Colossus." Gambit said in his best deadpan Russian accent. "I jack off with axel grease." He then collapsed into another fit of laughter, but the voice on the other in end was strangely silent.

"Ya still there..."

_T-That is not funny..._ the voice said clearly hurt, as the door opened.

--

Gambit stumbled drunk through the hallways of their compound. He had apologized to Colossus, and was now on his way to bed, when he remembered something.

Magneto had recently recruited a new mutant to his cause. A _girl_ by the name of Polaris. Thinking that now, would be a good time to introduce her to his _charm,_ he sauntered over to her door.

Remy pulled, a small bobby pin from inside his coat with a furtive glance around. When everything was all clear, he proceeded to pick the lock. To his surprise the door was open, and he fell through it noisily.

"She must be a heavy sleeper..." he whispered at the fact that she hadn't awoken, as he picked himself up again.

With all the training of a master thief, he crept over to her bedside. Eyeing her shape underneath the covers, a smirk crossed his lips.

"Yo' a little bit bigger dan Remys used ta." he said as he slipped underneath the covers. He was surprised to find that she took up a lot of room in the bed. Shrugging this off, he began to whisper in her ear.

"Hmmm...yo' hair is soft _chere._" he cooed stroking her hair sweetly, "Shh.. jus' be quiet Remy know jus' what ta do..."

"You got three seconds before I gut you..." Sabretooth growled, as he felt Remys' hands run through his hair.

Instantly Gambit leapt out of the bed a disgusted look on his face.

"You ain't no girl!?" he cried in alarm.

"And you ain't got long ta live..." Creed menaced, getting out of bed, and revealing that he slept in the nude.

"Ah can see why yo' mad all de time.." Gambit said eyeing Sabretooths lower extremities.

"I'm gonna' kill you!"

Upstairs, Piotr sat at his computer, as the sounds of crashes and curses echoes through the hall.

"Hmmm...new blog entry. The dangers of drinking."


End file.
